Thirty Seconds
by CharlieMichelle
Summary: They say it's one of those beautiful things, the ones where you don't ever want to see it but when you do you can't help but stare. He guessed that was kind of how he felt too...


**A/N: I strongly suggest listening to the 30 Seconds to Mars "This is War" c.d while reading this. The chapter titles line up with the song titles on the c.d! Also, I know this isn't the update I've promised but this idea literally would not leave my head... and it gets a little confusing but let me know what you all think of it please! It's a little different than my usual style. Forewarning now; this is an alternate ending to the movie, it's kind of a what happened in between Will making it home and when he decided to go back to the war. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the movie Hurt Locker, the music by 30 Seconds to Mars or even some of the characters. Any original character introduced is however mine. **

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The suit was always a comforting weight, at least to him it was. When he had that suit on he knew he was about to be doing something he's trained for, the only thing in his whole life that he worked for, perfected almost. The last couple of weeks had been hellish, Bravo company was not friendly -not that he really tried. Eldridge had already been sent home and with only three days left of rotation he knew how uneasy Sanborn had gotten.

He was not someone to let panic into his system. Never has been, not when he found out Connie was pregnant, not when he was first deployed... never. Today however the panic had set in. He couldn't get it unstrapped, he couldn't focus with the man's constant please right there. His hands were struggling and he could feel the excelaration in his breaths as he tried (he honestly really tried) to get the man unstrapped. When he knew he could do longer all he could afford to say was a roaring "Get back!" and take off him self.

When the inevitable explosion went off he expected the push. He expected the pressure and the feeling of being tossed in the air like a rag doll, he expected the thud and the gasp of breath that would leave his body unwillingly, he expected all of it. He didn't expect to feel so welcoming, in defeat and in death itself. There he laid, there he stared up at the sky with a weary smirk on his face, there Sergeant First Class William James -for the first time ever, sought to go home. He wanted nothing more than to go home and spoil his son with the riches of having a dad, he wanted to sit on his couch and mow the lawn.

That was when he was on his back in the middle of the desert, but at the current moment he sat in an air port waiting. Connie would be waiting for him on the other side of the door, he knew it and although he was happy part of him felt a tug of something different. He could still hear Sergeant Major Riley's voice ringing in his head.

"You don't have to come back after this Sgt., you can finish out your enlistment with a desk job at a recruitment office or I can pull some strings and get you an Honorable Discharge."

Will sat at the desk and let out a long drawn out sigh; "Thank you Sir. but you and I both know where I'll end up." The men shared a smirk and small laugh.

"Of course." Riley's eyes held a softer tone, something that would be seen or considered uncommon in the particular position. "Take some time and think about it, I'll give you a maximum of six months home, if at any point you decide otherwise you know how to reach me."

"Six months is a long time Sir..." Will was quick to amend himself; "Not that I don't appreciate it Sir, I'll be sure to let you know."

Riley stuck out his hand, to which Will responded in kind. "Consider the desk job." Will only nodded.

He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard the familiar sound of Connie calling his name. He felt his smile spread when he saw her holding his son, because there was something comforting in watching his sons mother burst at the sight of him and his son awe him in amazement. He was at their side before he knew it, he was encircling them both in his arms and something just felt right about it all.

For the time that moment would be all the home life he needed, not even six weeks into his vacation and he desperately wanted to go back. He wasn't good at laundry, food shopping, or hell even being a real father! He was good at taking apart bombs, he was good at living dangerously and placing his life in his own hands. Then he remembered Riley's words; adjustment took time, transferring back into the civilian world would take a lot longer than a month and a half.

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_The procession of men and women alike in similar uniforms walking through the room, two by two, was enough to send chills up his spine. The steady movement of their arms as they saluted, again two by two managed to prick at his eyes a little bit. What really got him though, was the moment when three men, dressed in uniform with only one identified as an officer, walked into the room with the intention of standing guard. He watched them take their place as others stepped up to pay respects._

_When he stepped out to get a breath he was greeted again with the sight of uniforms, he heard some strong sniffles from his left and when he took the chance to look he saw some of the young faces he'd grown to know crumble. Wordlessly he lit a cigarette and stood off to the side and watched. This wasn't his place, he shouldn't be here, but then again if he shouldn't then who should?_

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**A/N: Let me know what you think! I'm actually really excited to see how this plays out. Also as always, thank you to those who review and add me to their alerts/favorites. **


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